Don't Run Up The Score
Now I know that run differential is unlikely to matter in a 162-game season. And I know that it's demoralising to allow double-digit runs in a game. But here's the thing: If you can't stop a team, why on earth should they stop trying to make things easier for you? If I were the manager of a team, I would want my guys out there trying to score as many runs as they can on a nightly basis. And if the opposition can't stop us, I don't want my guys giving them easy outs just because it's the done thing. Boost your batting average and try and drive a few runs in. Who knows, next time out, it could be you on the receiving end of a pasting. Also, who doesn't want to see more 30-3 scorelines?
Don't Swing On A 3-0 Count
This is another case of 'I can't help it if you don't have your best stuff today'. If the pitcher can't throw strikes and has to lob a meatball down the pipe just to get the ball over the plate, the batter should be well within his rights to unload on that thing and send it 450 feet. Admittedly, from the batter's point of view, he could mis-hit it and get out, but this is very dependent on the game situation. If my team is up a few runs, I'm giving every batter the green light on a 3-0 pitch. If it's a tie game or we're a couple of runs behind, I might think about it. But more often than not, if the batter can see it's a nice ball to hit, get after that thing.
Don't Bunt To Break Up A No-Hitter/Perfect Game
Your job is to get on base. So get on base any way you can. I don't understand this obsession with not bunting when the shift is on, or not bunting when there's a no-hitter on. These players are paid millions of dollars to get themselves on base and score runs, and they should be doing that any way they can, even if it means breaking up a no-hitter. Let's face it, if you're in the seventh inning and you don't have a single hit off a pitcher, something clearly isn't working, so lay down a bunt and hustle down the first base line. If he doesn't like it, he'll probably bean you, and I've got plenty to say about that as well.
Don't Admire Your Home Runs
Home runs are great. Home runs are beautiful. Home runs deserve admiration. But pitchers don't like it, and therefore neither should you. The difference between a pitcher and a batter is that a pitcher has to stay on a relatively even keel. They can't let anything get to them too much or they'll be thrown off-stride. Batters meanwhile get one shot in nine, and their swings are trying to get the most out of the situation, it's one swing and a huge rush of adrenaline if they see the ball sailing off into the distance. And why shouldn't they be able to admire it? It's not like there's a timer on rounding the bases. Sure, it might hurt your pitcher's feelings, but maybe next time they'll throw a better pitch.
If You Admire Your Home Runs, Expect A Baseball To The Ribs
This is the dumbest one of the lot. 'Hey, you there, why are you good at your job, you massive dork? I don't like that, so the next time I see you, I'm going to force you to wear a 90+mph baseball.' It brings to mind the saying "don't be bitter, be better" and it never applies more than to a pitcher or team who feel like they've been embarrassed. Take Ronald Acuña Jr for example. You're in your first major league season and you are just torching baseballs for fun, hitting monster home runs night after night. But then you face the Miami Marlins, and their starting pitcher doesn't like that you're doing well, so he throws the hardest pitch of his career right into your midriff. Seems harsh, doesn't it?
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